walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Pooping to opera.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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