And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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