He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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