good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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