You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
