He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
