I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
