there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
