no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
