All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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