we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
