This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
