So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
