I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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