I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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