I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
