I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
