the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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