i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
