Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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