Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
