apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
