you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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