if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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