tell your sister to shave her snatch
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The adults are the big ones right?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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