12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
