do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
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I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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