Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
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worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
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We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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