First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
