Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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