exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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