Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
