is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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