He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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