I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
