a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
