Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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