life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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