I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
