You smell like stripper and shame
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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