Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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