I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
