So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
they need to just BURY HIM!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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