If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
