i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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