ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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