I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
