my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
