Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
