I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
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I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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