remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
