I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
The air taste purple.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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