Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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