Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
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If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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