Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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