When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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