Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
