my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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