Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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