dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am midnight drunk by noon
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
