I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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