bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
