Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
