i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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