Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
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