do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
