Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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