did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
