Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize