I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They have beer where we have blood.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
