She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
